Think Postive......yeah,right
There is a school of thought which reckons if you think positive you can make good things happen.
To which I reply, round spherical objects it does.
So I get called "negative" whereas I prefer "realistic" and not falsely optimistic.
If you don't expect things to be good then it is a welcome and pleasant surprise if they are, you can always hope for the best but expect the worst without having to think that you somehow brought bad things on yourself. There is a whole pile of difference between not even allowing for the good possibilities and in living in cloud cuckoo land where you can make your own miracles solely by believing they are possible, If you ever tried this in good faith and it flopped, how did you feel afterwards? Even more of a failure? Isn't it enough for people to live with disappointment without making them feel even more of a failure as if it is their fault as well? I'd say it was downright unkind and harmful to mental health to promulgate that kind of thinking. Nothing wrong with a more positive outlook either and some people need it for sure, but how can you argue with someone who has lost hope because experience tells them what outcome to expect (and it's accurate)? I'm not going to get into it more than to say that if you have "thought positive" and the good thing happened, then of course you want to take some credit for it. But if you thought positive and got a smack in the mouth, how are you supposed to believe in it the next time? Maybe some people ar ejust lucky.
So listen to people who are depressed or just unhappy or insecure and doubtful, what they need is to be taken at face value for their feelings and not told to buck up, get a grip, stop being negative or stop moaning or complaining. Unless you've been where they are standing you can't know how much damage you do to people who are already feeling alienated, displaced and marginalised. Human experience consists of things we can identify with to some degree and it is not weakness to do so, nor should you be afraid of being honest about that - don't shy away from people who rock your comfy little boat by being unhappy or unsure and don't assume that you can forget all about it and walk away if it's not your problem. It's a kind of self defence mechanism to want people to shut up when they are revealing a lasting problem or defect they are unable to deal with quietly. Denying it doesn't make it, or them, go away. We all want a quiet life, even the people you view as moaners or helpless.
And no man is an island. We laugh at things we can identify with and we squirm at others, but don't condemn the person who is just telling it how it is for them. It could be you. And if it ever was, don't turn away in order just to forget your own past weakness.